That Night Line Chat

2017.08.30 Wednesday

17:09 Dina Yoon    Aan... I'm feeling damn blue...
17:09 Chacha Husairi    Why da fuck ?
17:11 Dina Yoon    unimportant but big thing.
17:12 Chacha Husairi    Kenapa kenapaa
17:12 Chacha Husairi    ****??
17:12 Chacha Husairi    Huaaa



2017.08.31 Thursday

00:11 Dina Yoon    Really wanted to tell you about that unimportant big thing, directly, but there were them.
However the point is, that thing, makes me ask to God in my prayers, "if we're not fated, could You please tell me, is it him who doesn't deserve me, or is it me who doesn't deserve him?"
00:11 Dina Yoon    Do I make myself clear?
00:13 Dina Yoon    Like... We have the same value of years experience. But you own Bastian already. While myself...?

When She...

When she loves something but doesn't get reciprocal;
When she dreams of something but doesn't get support;
When she wants to achieve something but doesn't get ease.

Nothing but deadlock.

Like the sun that wants the star.

Collide...
that she loses her desire to shine.

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...

Perasaanku sakit.
Terasa denyutan di sini, di hati.
Seolah ada bayangan akan waktu mendatang yang suram.
Gelap, tiada keberadaan.
Batin memaksaku untuk menjerit.
Benarkah sesingkat ini?
Tak ada kah kesempatan lagi?

Tuhan...
Aku belum ingin kembali.

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She Feels Sad

She feels sad when the story of movie or drama doesn't end like she expected.
She feels sad when she doesn't have enough money that leads her to have debt.
She feels sad when she thinks she hasn't loved her job yet.
She feels sad when she listens to BTS J-Hope's "Mama".
She feels sad when she compares her body to the girlbands'.
She feels sad when she is unable to do the things she likes, at home.
She feels sad when she realises that her body doesn't fit a dance move.
She feels sad when she sees the pictures of lovers.
She feels sad when she remembers that she only had one person that loves her back.
She feels sad when she thinks that her crush is not eager to have a chat with her.
She feels sad when she wonders when this waiting will end.

She feels sad when she loves something but doesn't get reciprocal.
She feels sad when she dreams of something but doesn't get support.
She feels sad when she wants to achieve something but doesn't get ease.

P.S.:
She feels sad when she thinks of the words to pour into this post.

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Do You Ever Miss Me?

Hi, Crush. Long time no hearing about you. How have you been last two days? I cannot believe that I could survive living the days without communicating with you.

And, as usual, the biggest question that has appeared on my mind is, don't you miss me? Because I do miss you, much much more than I miss my chocolate which I forgot where I did put it.

I saw your activities for times on instagram. Why don't you text me? I know that it's always me the one who texts first, but I postponed doing it since you said that you were out of data. Now, it looks like you have topped up your data, yet you stay still not giving me any notification about that. Or at least, why didn't you give a bit love to my posts to indirectly tell me that you are now online.

Ah... Now you get me some negative assumptions. You don't want me to text you, you don't want to have another unimportant chats that you had been doing with me with long teeth, and you don't want to make me dream about the happy days with you anymore.

Do you know how much I hold myself not to text you first to see if you care enough to look for me? And do you know how much longing I feel in every second I live while wandering about you?

For everything's sake, I solemnly swear that I really want to open my Line, search for the chat dialogue with your name on it, then send a "peek-a-boo" sticker to you. But one thing irritating called "doubt" has been forbidding me to do that; it whispers some words like "Let him miss you."

That is weird.

Because... One of things that has been taking over almost all parts of my brain is the question:

Do you ever miss me?

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Our Eyes Meet

It was a calm night, when I was sitting right next to you. There was no sound but the strain produced from your guitar; the strain went around the room, accompanying us two who were waiting for the project file rendering on laptop to be finished.

"Virtually, acoustic music is calming, right?" My mouth began to talk to you after plenty minutes I had been spending by watching your fingers dancing on the guitar strings—really focusing only on your fingers.

But, even though my eyes were directed to the movement of your guitar strumming, I could still acknowledge another movements that you did. You turned your head a bit to see me talking. Your eyes were looking right into mine. That's one of things I love about you: you look at people in the eyes, not in another parts of the face.

During that couple of seconds, I guess I enjoyed that precious moment. But something I didn't know had managed to make me turn my eyes to see him while I continued my words.

That's the time our eyes met again.

In a close range.

Side by side.

"...But I've never felt sleepy when I watch people play acoustic guitar." I continued.

Then, in a couple of seconds as well, like in a slow motion, he took back his eyes and looked at the laptop screen.

Ah... You never have intention to let our eyes meet for a bit longer unless you get mad at me, don't you...? I have been wandering why you do it, yet I am now feeling such a happiness knowing that you apparently look at me often—at least my feeling says so.

That calming night has gotten me a bit more sure about your feeling towards me. You were playing guitar, and you were looking into my eyes. Those two are quite enough to relax my active brain and heart.

Guitar strain and our eyes meet.

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In Times Like This

In times like these I miss you most.
When evening falls and shadows surround.
I see your face...feel the warmth of your smile.
I feel your presence slowly enveloping me...
Bringing comfort...easing my soul into quietness.
I smell the sweetness of your spirit wafting over me...
Taste your kisses in the air that I breathe.
I hear your whispers of devotion calling to me on gentle breezes.
Closing my eyes only to feel you...
Your body so close to mine...
Moving smoothly together in the slow, sensual dance...
That only lovers know.

In times like these I miss you most...
When evening falls and shadows surround,
I see your face...feel the warmth of your smile.
I feel your presence slowly enveloping me...
Bringing comfort...easing my soul into quietness.
I smell the sweetness of your spirit wafting over me...
Taste your kisses in the air that I breathe.
I hear your whispers of devotion calling to me on gentle breezes.
Can you hear the melodies of my heart?
I can never have enough of you!
In times like these...
I miss you most.
Can you hear the melodies of my heart?
I can never have enough of you!
In times like these...
I miss you most.

(Leah Davis)

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